Miranda Priestly'd

Ok, I am so sorry that I haven’t blogged, or had the will to blog, in the past some-odd days -

I know that you come here regularly to check up on my adventures and whatnot -

\Well you don’t have to be rude about it. You see, I’m very busy with all sorts of -

Right. Well, you know what?

 You just got Miranda Priestly'd.

PS - Not the last Miranda Priestly post you'll see. Foreshadowing, dearest reader. Foreshadowing.

"49p a pint!"

Ok. I’ve been MIA for a little while, but I assure you that all is fine. I have left London - our shows we successes. Here are some pictures from the performance:

This is Farzana playing the courtesan (prostitute), Chabaname. Here, she's in the middle of her seductive entry dance, "Zim Zim Zim."

Farzana playing Rodhaba and Abida playing her sister, Sodhaba. They're hiding from someone here...

Abdul Haq (one of the sweetest people I've ever met) playing Arsalan of Samarqand along with Farzana (also an absolutely lovely person) playing Rodhaba.

Parwin (who has been living in Canada for two years) playing Zan-e Mutakef and Maqsudi (who teaches drama at Kabul University) playing Ehsan.

(Thanks to The Arts Desk for these images)

These were truly our two best performances. It seems like India was just sort of the “warm-up,” and perhaps it was the amazing space that is the Globe theatre that kind of kicked it into professional mode. It was extraordinary to be able to sit in the Globe when it was completely empty and watch rehearsals go on... and go on the stage... and the balcony... and backstage... ah, a theatre student’s dream come true. Here are some pictures from the Globe.

The rehearsal room on the top floor of the building around the Globe. It is the actual size of the stage, which is helpful.

 

 

 

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in all of its glory!

From the balcony. I didn't go right out onto it because tours were taking place and I didn't want them to be jelly.

Backstage 1

Backstage 2 (note all of the fire safety equipment...for those of you who don't know, the original Globe was burned to the ground during a production of King Henry VIII when a cannon misfired...I guess they're just because extra precautious now)

Backstage 3 (stairs up to the balcony and the area where they run the subtitles)

Backstage 4 (view down the stairs - there's a rope to hold on to 'cause these are steep!)

Backstage 5 (screens so that actors know when to go on)

Backstage 6 (this is the door that actors use to go around to the outside entrances during shows to come onstage through the pit)

One dressing room!

 We’re in Oxford now, and things are winding down a bit. Still two performances to go until Germany for the remainder of the run, but the Globe performance sort of seemed like the zenith of the production. I feel kind of like I’m not working right now because I’m staying at a bed and breakfast (which I always associate with leisure). But the free internet is glorious so I can catch up on my blogging and random internet surfing. I must, of course, be reminded that the work isn’t done yet. I think this is something that the actors, too, will have a hard time grasping: just because the “big” performance is done doesn’t mean that the work is done.

As for eating food, I’ve been perfectly happy to go to grocery stores and pick up a sandwich and some yogurt for dinner. I think I went through sandwich withdrawal in India and am now just taking advantage of it as much as I can. Going to restaurants alone is kind of depressing and awkward. However, pubs at lunch I can deal with. A good time in the middle of the day to relax for a few moments with a pint. I have, however, rekindled my six-year relationship with Ribena, the delicious blackcurrant drink that lines the grocery stores of England.

ps - getting a haircut in the next few days. euro cut. now i just need to get the euro grizzle going.

Ok, a pretty short post now but I wanted to show you guys some pictures. My mind, by the way, is beginning to grasp the historical nature of this project. I wish that I had been to Afghanistan before this experience because I think I would have a greater appreciation for what we’re doing. I’ve had the oddest experience with this country... one that hits me every time I think “Afghanistan.” I have a direct link to this country now, despite never having been there. But really, it’s the people who embody what a country is, I suppose.

More Afghan reflections to come, I’m sure.

PS - Remember in The Iron Lady when Margaret Thatcher (as played by Meryl Streep) exclaims: “Milk’s gone up again. 49p a pint!” (Of course you do, you’ve watched it at least half a dozen times and therefore remember all the lines of the film) Well I’m pretty sure I just spent more than that on milk. Maggie would not be pleased.

Beautiful even in 85-year-old Margaret Thatcher makeup

Hush Now My Baby

In grade six, I began to thin out. I was never a super skinny child; I always had a little bit of roundness to me. I wasn’t chubby - just full. Anyway, when I was twelve my metabolism decided to speed up a bit (lyk idk why...), and for six years I enjoyed eating everything in sight without gaining weight.

Then came university. Until October of my first year I had actually lost weight - but by March I had gained a freshman ten. I’m sure others had it worse, but I’m just saying that I then realized that my body was no longer immune to the world of caloric intake without consequence. Being in India for forty days helped me lose that ten pounds, but still, it woke me up... (loool)

I’d have to say that I came to this realization today at Starbucks when the cashier asked if I’d like whip on top of my coffee frap and I said “yes” without hesitation. (Side note: London has lots of Starbucks and my mom asked me if I had gotten tired of Starbucks and I laughed) So while sipping on this drink of pure deliciousity (it’s a word now - I’ve been working closely with Shakespeare for a while now and he made up tons of words), I decided that I would try to have an active goal for the summer when I returned to Canada.

So I thought to myself: heptathlon. Then I decided that I didn’t know what a heptathlon was. The same went for decathlon. And octothlon. I don’t think that last one exists. So I settled for triathlon. I forget how far each length is, actually. So I might try that. But I also thought about making up my own thlon. The Devathlon. It shall consist of the following: kayaking, forest hiking, and race walking. I might add some backwards crawl in there, too, just cause I rock at it (or I think I rock at it). Ta-dah. I just have to come up with some lengths now. I’ll do that later. But I’ve committed to the Devathlon. Stay tuned.

We just finished our first performance at the Globe toady. It was awesome! The audience really loved it. I think that perhaps knowing every facet of the play allows me to pick the mistakes out and be more critical. But I actually got to be backstage today which was awesome. I sneakily took pictures, too. It was dark so it was difficult, but I managed. Will put them up later. And I got to go onto the balcony of the Globe, too. I felt so important walking on the stage and stuff when all of the tour groups had to sit in the stalls. Muahaha. The theatre is SUCH a pretentious place. And that’s one thing that I have discovered that I really dislike during this whole experience... pretentiousness. But I guess I had better get used to that if I’m ever going to work in a theatre, and I have to be extra careful that I don’t become one of those pretentites (it’s a word now).

For my birthday on Monday I went and saw a British slapstick (oh yes, you heard me) play. So brilliant. Just wonderful. Ha. I’m not going to describe it to you because that would be tasking for me (I’ve had such a tiring day [haha imagine that being said as if by Georgette from Disney’s Oliver and Company]) and boring for you.

But my birthday made me realize how much I miss everyone. It was a little lonely and didn’t really feel like a birthday. You know that special feeling you get on the anniversary of leaving your mother’s womb? Yeah. Not there. Woo is me. Womb is me. I felt like this:

Ok, maybe not so much like I was shipping my little baby, future freer of the Jews from the enslavement of Ramses II of Egypt, off in a basket down the crocodile-infested, ship-carrying Nile River, but pretty close to it I’d say.

Also, goodbye Indian-themed blog design. Hearing “India” is starting to give me shell shock. Is it bad to joke about that? Meh, people have joked about worse things. I’ll write about my relationship with the subcontinent in a future post.

Seeing Matilda: The Musical tonight!!! And then I’m going to grab dinner from Sainsbury’s. They have these little cheesecake cups in the yogurt section that are to die for... NO DEVON. DEVATHLON. RESIST. TEMPTATION. CHEESECAKEY GOODNESS. (11:26pm update: hehe I got the last one suckers)

I’m Julia Child. Bon appétit!

Happy Meryl Streep Day

The past two days have been filled with touristy excitement. Also, I have walked a total of 37 kilometres around the city of London in the past two days. My feet are a little tired, but I’m holding up. My running shoes treat me well. I’m starting to realize what they’re singing about in “If I Could Walk 500 Miles.”

I’ll take you through what I’ve done thus far.

-visited the exterior of the Tower of London
-St. Paul’s cathedral
-British Museum
-saw The Taming of the Shrew in Urdu at The Globe
-went to the Damien Hirst exhibit at the Tate Modern
-visited the exterior of the British Parliament buildings
-Westminster Abbey
-Buckingham Palace (sort of - it was super busy and I got fed up without getting a good look at the palace, but I’ll go back next week if I want to)
-St. James’s Park
-The National Portrait Gallery
-The National Gallery
-The Lion King at the Lyceum Theatre

It’s back to work tomorrow so that’s why I was trying to get everything in to these couple of days. Right now it is Saturday afternoon and I’m just taking a short break (and a nap maybe) before I go to see The Lion King. That’s basically what this post is going to be about, so I’ll come back when I’ve seen the show and tell you what I thought.

7 hours later...

WOOOOOOW. Just... so... amazing. I want to write a production analysis on it. I might just. Won’t post it to you guys now, but I’ll show it to my sister or something. My general feelings towards what I just saw:

At dinner I had steak. But it was called “rump steak” on the menu. So delicious. I’ve missed my carnivorous habits. But isn’t “rump” such an unattractive word? Why use it in “rump steak”? Might as well call it “ass steak.”

Also, after having my first iced tea in 44 days, I remembered how dependent I used to be on the cold drink.

I feel as if I am the only single person in London. Seriously, there are couples everywhere: interracial couples, straight couples, tall couples, gay couples, beautiful couples, some not-so-beautiful-but-probably-just-as-happy couples... and then there’s me. Alone.

lol I'm not actually that upset

 My “yesses” in England have turned into grunts of “yeh” and I don’t know why. It’s terribly distracting. It’s like in grade 8 when I would answer everything with “for sure.” I JUST CAN’T STOP.

I also find myself hesitant as of late to order smoothies. They seem like such a non-adult thing to order. That and milkshakes. But they’re just so good. So I do it anyway. And you know what Meryl would say?

 This has been a really patchy blog, mostly about the thoughts that I had during my dinner alone last night. It sounds sad but I’m perfectly happy to have alone time. Sorry that this hasn’t been some insightful blog about the struggles of Afghanistan through theatre, but I’m sure that will come later.

PS - It's Meryl Streep Day today! CELEBRATE!

Ingonyama Nengw' Enamabala

See the post below for pictures with captions of my trip to Agra to see the Taj Mahal and Agra Fort. I didn’t have the energy to post them the day I went, so they will go today along with this post.

I have reached London, England. The show has finished its seven shows in India and is moving on to the final stages. Our director said that there is still a lot of work to be done... which is true. Hopefully there will be an improvement before the show goes up in the Globe. Anyway, the nine hour flight was a typical nine hour flight: long, cramped, boring. I watched Big Miracle (the totally unpredictable one about the trapped whales) and Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol. I hadn’t seen any movies in forty days so it felt good to veg.

But London! First time in the city! Six years ago, my family and I came to England but went right from Heathrow to Oxford and then went around the southwest. But I love the city already and have only been here for about four hours. The room in the hotel I’m staying at is small, but nice. The bathroom is just down the hall. Went to bed at 7:30pm last night as a result of the four hour jet lag and am now up at 5:30am! Going to have a cup of coffee, shower, breakfast and then get started on my day.

I have the pleasure of seeing another production in this Shakespeare festival today, Pakistan’s The Taming of the Shrew in Urdu. Looking forward to seeing a show in the Globe for the first time. Other than that, I’m not too sure what is in the books for me today. The weather here is absolutely gorgeous, so that makes me not necessarily want to go into museums, but I probably will still. I walked around Southwark last night (the region of London in which I am staying) and did very well! I didn’t need my map at all, but that isn’t to say that at some points I had no idea where I was. Looking forward to many more of those moments.

I must admit that it is nice to have a couple of days to myself. For the past six and a half weeks the company has been together every single second, so having this separation is both necessary and relaxing. I guess I’m just learning more of the truths about working in a theatre company of this sort. But in all honesty, this has been only my first real day off since April 11th when I started. Even when I went to Agra, I came back to Delhi and had work to do. *la la la la la when i get back to canada i’m sleeping for 48 hours straight*

Anyway, I’m a happy boy right now. And most of all... THE LION KING TOMORROW! (I am just so devastated that my sister won’t be with me because I know how devastated she is that she isn’t with me to see it). My you know what they say... they live in you.

INGONYAMA NENGW’ ENAMABALA
INGONYAMA NENGW’ ENAMABALA
INGONYAMA NENGW’ ENAMABALA

THEY LIIIIIIVE IN YOOOOOOOOOOOOU

My sister is so jealous right now.

Photos from the Taj Mahal

Outside the eastern gate of the Taj Mahal. Nothing in painted on any of the buildings, it’s all naturally-coloured stone. And there’s a crapload of symbolism - lots of 14s and 22s. I also look like I have a huge potbelly in this photo and I don’t know why. I’ve lost ten pounds since I’ve come to India... maybe it’s the fact that this shirt was a large so it was flowy before but now it’s just billowy. My family is probably laughing at this now... Jackson joke...

Perfectly symmetrical. (AND CAN WITHSTAND A HEAT OF ONE THOUSAND DEGREES! - Edna from the Incredibles? Anyone?)

 Me looking semi-impressed by this very impressive building.

 The fountains were on, but apparently they aren’t usually. When they’re not, it reflects the Taj Mahal beautifully.

Me with my shades. My hat is in my hand for this picture, but I would like to make it known that I did not get burnt at all that day and the UV index was 11+ and the temperature peaked at 49 degrees Celsius. My tricks? 110 SPF sunscreen. Wide-brimmed hat. Long-sleeve shirt. UVA-repellent pants (no jokes). Having a sister who has convinced you that the sun is Satan himself.

 Ok, the tour guide I had (thank Meryl I had him because otherwise I would have been so lost and unknowledgeable about the Taj Mahal) told me to kneel down for this one, but for some reason I decided to squat like this so it looks like I’m about to do a poo into one of the reflecting pools.

 Wonderful.

 All stones from all over the world... Belgium, India, Afghanistan, South Africa, etc. This thing was probably so expensive.

 Shah Jahan, the guy who built this place as a tomb for his wife, was also starting to build a black Taj Mahal across the river for himself. Unfortunately, his arshole of a son decided to imprison him before he could finish it, so that’s the foundation over there.

 One of the mosques. This is right next to the Taj Mahal, and people still come here on Fridays to pray.

Symmetrical even from the side. Even this angle is impressive. Sorry that I couldn’t take any pictures inside.

 Until next time, Taj! (Although I doubt I will ever be there again) Because I went in May, the hottest time of the year here, there were no tourists (relative to other times of the year), so seeing it was such a pleasant experience.

At Agra Fort. Notice how hot I look. (eh ladies)

 Where Shah Jahan was imprisoned and watched the Taj Mahal (in case it decided to get up and go).

Where Shah Jahan had a bath with his harlots (and then other harlots would sit in the gallery around and watch).

So that's Agra.

My Experiences in India in GIFs

When I was asked to smoke a joint with a stranger in Mumbai

When the masseuse started rubbing my posterior

Walking home at night alone in an unfamiliar city

After I yelled the ‘c word’ during audience participation

Seeing the total cost of the theatre tickets I booked for London

Eating butter naan

Trying to understand if the Indian man is nodding or shaking his head 

Drinking mango lassis

Getting an e-mail from my parents and sister
 

When I almost accidentally tooted during the most serious scene of the play during rehearsal