Hush Now My Baby

In grade six, I began to thin out. I was never a super skinny child; I always had a little bit of roundness to me. I wasn’t chubby - just full. Anyway, when I was twelve my metabolism decided to speed up a bit (lyk idk why...), and for six years I enjoyed eating everything in sight without gaining weight.

Then came university. Until October of my first year I had actually lost weight - but by March I had gained a freshman ten. I’m sure others had it worse, but I’m just saying that I then realized that my body was no longer immune to the world of caloric intake without consequence. Being in India for forty days helped me lose that ten pounds, but still, it woke me up... (loool)

I’d have to say that I came to this realization today at Starbucks when the cashier asked if I’d like whip on top of my coffee frap and I said “yes” without hesitation. (Side note: London has lots of Starbucks and my mom asked me if I had gotten tired of Starbucks and I laughed) So while sipping on this drink of pure deliciousity (it’s a word now - I’ve been working closely with Shakespeare for a while now and he made up tons of words), I decided that I would try to have an active goal for the summer when I returned to Canada.

So I thought to myself: heptathlon. Then I decided that I didn’t know what a heptathlon was. The same went for decathlon. And octothlon. I don’t think that last one exists. So I settled for triathlon. I forget how far each length is, actually. So I might try that. But I also thought about making up my own thlon. The Devathlon. It shall consist of the following: kayaking, forest hiking, and race walking. I might add some backwards crawl in there, too, just cause I rock at it (or I think I rock at it). Ta-dah. I just have to come up with some lengths now. I’ll do that later. But I’ve committed to the Devathlon. Stay tuned.

We just finished our first performance at the Globe toady. It was awesome! The audience really loved it. I think that perhaps knowing every facet of the play allows me to pick the mistakes out and be more critical. But I actually got to be backstage today which was awesome. I sneakily took pictures, too. It was dark so it was difficult, but I managed. Will put them up later. And I got to go onto the balcony of the Globe, too. I felt so important walking on the stage and stuff when all of the tour groups had to sit in the stalls. Muahaha. The theatre is SUCH a pretentious place. And that’s one thing that I have discovered that I really dislike during this whole experience... pretentiousness. But I guess I had better get used to that if I’m ever going to work in a theatre, and I have to be extra careful that I don’t become one of those pretentites (it’s a word now).

For my birthday on Monday I went and saw a British slapstick (oh yes, you heard me) play. So brilliant. Just wonderful. Ha. I’m not going to describe it to you because that would be tasking for me (I’ve had such a tiring day [haha imagine that being said as if by Georgette from Disney’s Oliver and Company]) and boring for you.

But my birthday made me realize how much I miss everyone. It was a little lonely and didn’t really feel like a birthday. You know that special feeling you get on the anniversary of leaving your mother’s womb? Yeah. Not there. Woo is me. Womb is me. I felt like this:

Ok, maybe not so much like I was shipping my little baby, future freer of the Jews from the enslavement of Ramses II of Egypt, off in a basket down the crocodile-infested, ship-carrying Nile River, but pretty close to it I’d say.

Also, goodbye Indian-themed blog design. Hearing “India” is starting to give me shell shock. Is it bad to joke about that? Meh, people have joked about worse things. I’ll write about my relationship with the subcontinent in a future post.

Seeing Matilda: The Musical tonight!!! And then I’m going to grab dinner from Sainsbury’s. They have these little cheesecake cups in the yogurt section that are to die for... NO DEVON. DEVATHLON. RESIST. TEMPTATION. CHEESECAKEY GOODNESS. (11:26pm update: hehe I got the last one suckers)

I’m Julia Child. Bon appétit!

Happy Meryl Streep Day

The past two days have been filled with touristy excitement. Also, I have walked a total of 37 kilometres around the city of London in the past two days. My feet are a little tired, but I’m holding up. My running shoes treat me well. I’m starting to realize what they’re singing about in “If I Could Walk 500 Miles.”

I’ll take you through what I’ve done thus far.

-visited the exterior of the Tower of London
-St. Paul’s cathedral
-British Museum
-saw The Taming of the Shrew in Urdu at The Globe
-went to the Damien Hirst exhibit at the Tate Modern
-visited the exterior of the British Parliament buildings
-Westminster Abbey
-Buckingham Palace (sort of - it was super busy and I got fed up without getting a good look at the palace, but I’ll go back next week if I want to)
-St. James’s Park
-The National Portrait Gallery
-The National Gallery
-The Lion King at the Lyceum Theatre

It’s back to work tomorrow so that’s why I was trying to get everything in to these couple of days. Right now it is Saturday afternoon and I’m just taking a short break (and a nap maybe) before I go to see The Lion King. That’s basically what this post is going to be about, so I’ll come back when I’ve seen the show and tell you what I thought.

7 hours later...

WOOOOOOW. Just... so... amazing. I want to write a production analysis on it. I might just. Won’t post it to you guys now, but I’ll show it to my sister or something. My general feelings towards what I just saw:

At dinner I had steak. But it was called “rump steak” on the menu. So delicious. I’ve missed my carnivorous habits. But isn’t “rump” such an unattractive word? Why use it in “rump steak”? Might as well call it “ass steak.”

Also, after having my first iced tea in 44 days, I remembered how dependent I used to be on the cold drink.

I feel as if I am the only single person in London. Seriously, there are couples everywhere: interracial couples, straight couples, tall couples, gay couples, beautiful couples, some not-so-beautiful-but-probably-just-as-happy couples... and then there’s me. Alone.

lol I'm not actually that upset

 My “yesses” in England have turned into grunts of “yeh” and I don’t know why. It’s terribly distracting. It’s like in grade 8 when I would answer everything with “for sure.” I JUST CAN’T STOP.

I also find myself hesitant as of late to order smoothies. They seem like such a non-adult thing to order. That and milkshakes. But they’re just so good. So I do it anyway. And you know what Meryl would say?

 This has been a really patchy blog, mostly about the thoughts that I had during my dinner alone last night. It sounds sad but I’m perfectly happy to have alone time. Sorry that this hasn’t been some insightful blog about the struggles of Afghanistan through theatre, but I’m sure that will come later.

PS - It's Meryl Streep Day today! CELEBRATE!

Ingonyama Nengw' Enamabala

See the post below for pictures with captions of my trip to Agra to see the Taj Mahal and Agra Fort. I didn’t have the energy to post them the day I went, so they will go today along with this post.

I have reached London, England. The show has finished its seven shows in India and is moving on to the final stages. Our director said that there is still a lot of work to be done... which is true. Hopefully there will be an improvement before the show goes up in the Globe. Anyway, the nine hour flight was a typical nine hour flight: long, cramped, boring. I watched Big Miracle (the totally unpredictable one about the trapped whales) and Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol. I hadn’t seen any movies in forty days so it felt good to veg.

But London! First time in the city! Six years ago, my family and I came to England but went right from Heathrow to Oxford and then went around the southwest. But I love the city already and have only been here for about four hours. The room in the hotel I’m staying at is small, but nice. The bathroom is just down the hall. Went to bed at 7:30pm last night as a result of the four hour jet lag and am now up at 5:30am! Going to have a cup of coffee, shower, breakfast and then get started on my day.

I have the pleasure of seeing another production in this Shakespeare festival today, Pakistan’s The Taming of the Shrew in Urdu. Looking forward to seeing a show in the Globe for the first time. Other than that, I’m not too sure what is in the books for me today. The weather here is absolutely gorgeous, so that makes me not necessarily want to go into museums, but I probably will still. I walked around Southwark last night (the region of London in which I am staying) and did very well! I didn’t need my map at all, but that isn’t to say that at some points I had no idea where I was. Looking forward to many more of those moments.

I must admit that it is nice to have a couple of days to myself. For the past six and a half weeks the company has been together every single second, so having this separation is both necessary and relaxing. I guess I’m just learning more of the truths about working in a theatre company of this sort. But in all honesty, this has been only my first real day off since April 11th when I started. Even when I went to Agra, I came back to Delhi and had work to do. *la la la la la when i get back to canada i’m sleeping for 48 hours straight*

Anyway, I’m a happy boy right now. And most of all... THE LION KING TOMORROW! (I am just so devastated that my sister won’t be with me because I know how devastated she is that she isn’t with me to see it). My you know what they say... they live in you.

INGONYAMA NENGW’ ENAMABALA
INGONYAMA NENGW’ ENAMABALA
INGONYAMA NENGW’ ENAMABALA

THEY LIIIIIIVE IN YOOOOOOOOOOOOU

My sister is so jealous right now.

Photos from the Taj Mahal

Outside the eastern gate of the Taj Mahal. Nothing in painted on any of the buildings, it’s all naturally-coloured stone. And there’s a crapload of symbolism - lots of 14s and 22s. I also look like I have a huge potbelly in this photo and I don’t know why. I’ve lost ten pounds since I’ve come to India... maybe it’s the fact that this shirt was a large so it was flowy before but now it’s just billowy. My family is probably laughing at this now... Jackson joke...

Perfectly symmetrical. (AND CAN WITHSTAND A HEAT OF ONE THOUSAND DEGREES! - Edna from the Incredibles? Anyone?)

 Me looking semi-impressed by this very impressive building.

 The fountains were on, but apparently they aren’t usually. When they’re not, it reflects the Taj Mahal beautifully.

Me with my shades. My hat is in my hand for this picture, but I would like to make it known that I did not get burnt at all that day and the UV index was 11+ and the temperature peaked at 49 degrees Celsius. My tricks? 110 SPF sunscreen. Wide-brimmed hat. Long-sleeve shirt. UVA-repellent pants (no jokes). Having a sister who has convinced you that the sun is Satan himself.

 Ok, the tour guide I had (thank Meryl I had him because otherwise I would have been so lost and unknowledgeable about the Taj Mahal) told me to kneel down for this one, but for some reason I decided to squat like this so it looks like I’m about to do a poo into one of the reflecting pools.

 Wonderful.

 All stones from all over the world... Belgium, India, Afghanistan, South Africa, etc. This thing was probably so expensive.

 Shah Jahan, the guy who built this place as a tomb for his wife, was also starting to build a black Taj Mahal across the river for himself. Unfortunately, his arshole of a son decided to imprison him before he could finish it, so that’s the foundation over there.

 One of the mosques. This is right next to the Taj Mahal, and people still come here on Fridays to pray.

Symmetrical even from the side. Even this angle is impressive. Sorry that I couldn’t take any pictures inside.

 Until next time, Taj! (Although I doubt I will ever be there again) Because I went in May, the hottest time of the year here, there were no tourists (relative to other times of the year), so seeing it was such a pleasant experience.

At Agra Fort. Notice how hot I look. (eh ladies)

 Where Shah Jahan was imprisoned and watched the Taj Mahal (in case it decided to get up and go).

Where Shah Jahan had a bath with his harlots (and then other harlots would sit in the gallery around and watch).

So that's Agra.

My Experiences in India in GIFs

When I was asked to smoke a joint with a stranger in Mumbai

When the masseuse started rubbing my posterior

Walking home at night alone in an unfamiliar city

After I yelled the ‘c word’ during audience participation

Seeing the total cost of the theatre tickets I booked for London

Eating butter naan

Trying to understand if the Indian man is nodding or shaking his head 

Drinking mango lassis

Getting an e-mail from my parents and sister
 

When I almost accidentally tooted during the most serious scene of the play during rehearsal

mASSage

Today, I went to a mall in Delhi to get a new power adapter (mine punked out about a week ago). On the way there in the auto rickshaw, the guy drove me for ten minutes for 50 Rupees (about 93 cents). Upon leaving the auto rickshaw, he looked at me in the eye and said: "this is a good price." I tried tipping him as well but he refused. But what a nice guy, because on the way back (it was much shorter due to a large road division that he didn't have to circumnavigate this time) the new auto rickshaw driver tried charging me 100 Rupees (about $1.86). I stood my ground and got the price to 50 Rupees. No fooling this naive white guy! Anyway, upon looking at the Rupee worth in CAD I feel like a huge Scrooge, but I guess he was being dishonest in terms of being an Indian rickshaw driver, so I don't feel too guilty. I probably would have given him the 100 Rupees had he not of tried to rip me off... for less than a dollar... ok, I seem like the bad guy here, but it was a big moment for me!

On blogger.com, you can see a little chart with how many views you get. My views peaked with a picture post (what a lovely alliteration that was) and have kind of flat-lined since, but on Wednesday you are going to get some glorious pictures of Agra. I wish we were staying in Delhi for more than 3 days because it would be wonderful to travel the city, but I can so see myself regretting coming to India, having the chance to see the Taj Mahal (no matter how overrated some people may think it is).

Also, I just want to put it out there that I don't like souvenirs. Maybe I just don't like stressing out about finding something to represent my time in a foreign place, but I find that pictures are my souvenirs. And is it weird that I don't like myself in pictures of the places I go? If I want to remember something the way I experienced it, why would I want to see myself in front of it? That's not how I saw it. I'm not totally against the idea of people in pictures, I just don't like stressing out about "making the memory" as opposed to "recording the memory." You know what I mean? Maybe not, that was a lot of rambling.

I also got a massage yesterday. I asked for just my back, but I guess I now know why they call it a mASSage (I've used that line on my sister and my parents already, and I'm sure other people have used it before). Should I not have prefaced my massage with "THIS IS MY FIRST MASSAGE!" Did the Indian masseuse take advantage of me because of this? I should have seen this coming when They asked to take off my pants! Anyway, I was uncomfortable with this for the first couple minutes but then stopped when I realized that I had a plane ride later that day and I would eventually appreciate it. Anyway, I could write a play on this experience (and I might just).

Ok I just Googled this and other people had had the same experience. I guess that's sort of the starting place for your back.

I feel another GIF post coming up... "My Experiences in India in GIFs." Expect this on Thursday.

Me Living Life

There’s not been much to blog about today, other than that we’re now on tour and tonight is the first performance at the University of Pune. A dingy auditorium, but it will be a wonderful contrast for the Prithvi Theatre in Mumbai which is apparently amazing. I will post pictures of all the theatres when done.

I’m also going to take a day trip to Agra to see the Taj Mahal. I figure that this will probably be the only time I’ll ever be in India, so I might as well see it. I think it costs about 95.00 CAD for the taxi for the day, and I have enough leftover INR to cover that costs plus a bit. Why not, right?

Anyway, that will make for a fun photo blog. The drive there is long, but I really like being in cars. I like moving for some reason, provides me with a lot of comfort. Probably stems from my HATRED of waiting.

I’ve also booked my ticket to The Lion King in London. Also going to see One Man, Two Guvnors (a comedy) on my birthday, Matilda: The Musical sometime... and then Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew performed in Urdu (one of the other thirty-six plays of this entire program that we are part of), and then of course our very own The Comedy of Errors. And for one of the performances for The Comedy of Errors, I’ll be backstage. At the Globe theatre. AAH.

SO MUCH THEATRE. But whatevs. Also going to do some super touristy stuff (museums, landmarks) and some green walks (meaning that I’ll go to parks and stuff, not get high and then walk - but when in Europe, right?). I’m going to be so broke, mainly cause London is expensive. This is me living life though.